Spring cleaning in Autumn

I had another Epiphany. They're great, when I have one I feel like my life has new clarity and I can see things getting better. Yay for me
I realised that old simple saying "life is too short"
So I decided to spring clean my life a little earlier than spring. I am getting rid of the people in my life who bring me down, who make false promises and who make me question everything about myself. Guess what? you people suck and need to find something better to do with your lives.
To my ex-husband R, You haven't seen or contacted your daughters in 6 years even though you know exactly where they are, you think that $21 child support a month is enough. You are so lucky being able to have a cash in hand job, your dream was to make surfboards, and I am glad you are living your dream, it just shits me that you can cheat the tax department and the child support agency, most of all it shits me that you can cheat your daughters out of a father. For a special ed qualified teacher, you really don't care about children too much.
To my ex-boy Ad, you're an alcoholic, don't call me and cry about how it was only one drink, that you wont do it again, guess what I don't care, I'm sick of caring about how you fuck your life up....The surfboard is going on ebay for $1 :) ahh see I feel better already.
To Voldemort.. hey guess what dickhead, you have a girlfriend, you love her remember?, you conveniently forgot about her for a few weeks, if you don't want me to tell her about what you tried to do, then quit contacting me, there's a reason I don't answer your messages or phone calls, you're a dick of the worst kind
To G in NY, you were there for me when I needed someone, you supported me through my misery and divorce and for that I will be eternally grateful, but you also screwed me over constantly "but I love you, we should be together" hey guess what you're in New York and if in seven years, no wait 8 years! you haven't figured out that you can't be with someone across the world, that you actually need to be in the same town, state, country, even hemisphere, then that's your problem, not mine, quit making promises, you persisted even when I was with other people, you caused problems and I wasn't strong enough to clear you out years ago because of everything you had done for me, but you had your chance, it's too late. Been wearing my Princess Bride t-shirt and knee high boots??
I wish I wasn't so fucking needy!!! I wish I was happy spending a lot of time on my own, but I crave having someone hold me and make me feel like I'm beautiful and special. I am worried i am going to jump straight into another relationship to get over the last one and that wouldn't be fair on the poor bastard that comes next.
I need to find peace within myself. I have had too many people in my life not give a damn about my feelings, I care about people too much, and now it's time for me to start caring about myself, I've said it so many times, but this time I need to do it. I never thought I would be in my thirties and single, I thought I would have the husband the 2 kids (got those and they're amazing) the house and the picket fence. I've held myself back from all the happiness that I deserve. I've believed too many people, put my faith in them and blamed myself for being so stupid. I am gullible, I know that. Maybe I thought I would be a better person by having someone love me. It's human nature to love and want to be loved.
Even though there have been people in my life, a lot of the time I've felt really alone. I guess I am scared of being alone, I don't want to die alone, and I don't want to live a life without being with my true love and I don't want to be the crazy lady with 60 cats that the kid's tell scary stories about and dare each other to come and knock on the door and then run away screaming before I throw a cat at them.